Robert Zemeckis Wants R-Rated Gnomes – He’s going to show us how to surivive an attack

If you thought gnomes were just sweet little garden ornaments, or that at most they might fall in love Shakespearean style (a la Gnomeo & Juliet), prepare to be surprised. Variety reports that Robert Zemeckis is planning a film version of Chuck Sambuchino‘s book, How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack: Defend Yourself When the Lawn Warriors Strike (And They Will).

Although you might assume that a film about such a humourous subject matter might still be family friends, think again, as the plan is to make an R-rated movie that would combine animation with live action. It early days, with no writer attached, but with Yellow Submarine cancelled, Zemeckis is currently without any firm projects to direct (there have been a couple things he’s been attached to, but there’s been no word on any of them for months). As yet, he hasn’t committed to direct, but is weighing his options. The movie is budgeted in the $20-$30 million range, do don’t expect anything too epic.

Here’s a synopsis of the book from Amazon, ‘There’s a new threat in town—and it’s only twelve inches tall. How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack is the only comprehensive survival guide that will help you prevent, prepare for, and ward off an imminent home invasion by the common garden gnome. Once thought of as harmless yard decorations, evidence is mounting that these smiling lawn statues are poised and ready to wreck havoc. The danger is real. And it’s here.

‘Class 1 gnome-slayer and gnome defense expert Chuck Sambuchino has developed a proven system—Assess, Protect, Defend, Apply—for safeguarding property, possessions, and loved ones. Strategies include step-by-step instructions for gnome-proofing the average dwelling, recognizing and interpreting the signs of a gathering hoard, and—in the event that a secured perimeter is breached—confronting and combating the attackers at close range.’