![]() Director: Sidney Lumet Year Of Release: 1975 Plot: Sonny needs money because his transgendered lover wants a sex-change operation but doesnt have the cash. So along with his friend Sal, he decides to hold up the Chase Manhattan Bank in Flatbush, Brooklyn. The job is supposed to be quick and easy, but they soon discover theres little money in the bank as most of the cash has already been picked up for the day. Things go from bad to worse when the police phone in and say theyve got the entire bank surrounded, leading to a lengthy stand-off. |
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When people talk about the New Hollywood in the 70s changing the movie business forever, sometimes its easy to forget just what an unusual period this was in movie history. Films that would have been virtually impossible to make within the mainstream just a few before years (and would become so again a few years later) were suddenly having money thrown at them by the studios. Plots that seemed to break every convention going were all the rage as Hollywood tried to capitalise on the counter-culture mood and revitalise the film industry, which had been suffering from collapsing audiences and outmoded ways of operating.
Perhaps most significantly, these unusual films became critical and commercial hits. And it wasnt just polite applause and managing to make their money back, as they were amongst the biggest movies around at the time. It really was a unique period for experimentation, not simply because a new generation of filmmakers were emerging, but because the likes of Scorsese, Coppola, Hal Ashby and Sidney Lumet, were given the money and freedom by the studios to do things differently to how theyd been done before or have since.
Whenever I watch Dog Day Afternoon which was a huge hit, based on a real-life event and released by Warner Bros. I cant help imagining what would happen if you pitched it to a studio today…
SCREENWRITER: Hi, glad to meet you. I know youre a busy studio executive looking for big hits, and I think Ive got just the film for you!
STUDIO EXEC: Great, were always on the lookout for new ideas, as long as theyre based on a toy, board game, videogame or 1980s horror movie. So what have you got? The new Avatar? The new Pirates of the Caribbean? The new Lord of the Rings?
SCREENWRITER: Better, its about a robbery.
STUDIO EXEC: Great, the new Oceans 11 then. We could do with a cool heist film. So whats your angle? Is it an old con doing one last job to help rescue his daughter who’s been kidnapped, before he takes violent, bloody revenge on the bad guys?
SCREENWRITER: Umm, no.
STUDIO EXEC: Is it about a gang using cutting edge technology to get past one of the most advanced security systems ever devised, so they can steal something belonging to a crazy criminal who needs his comeuppance? That would be great, as weve only seen that three or four hundred times before!
SCREENWRITER: Wrong again, Im afraid.
STUDIO EXEC: Wow, you must he thinking so far outside the box that Im already thinking of calling security to throw you out! So is it a robbery in space?
SCREENWRITER: No, its great, no one will have seen anything quite like it. Its about a guy robbing a bank to try and get money for his transsexual lovers sex change operation.
STUDIO EXEC: Excuse me?
SCREENWRITER: Yeah, good isnt it? His lover doesnt have the cash, so hes going to steal it for her. But heres the kicker, the bank doesnt have any money.
STUDIO EXEC: Ah, I see, this is a gross-out comedy where we get to make lots of homophobic jokes and then pretend the film isnt prejudiced because it’s got a gay character in it. It’s I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry meets Heat!
SCREENWRITER: No, its a drama.
STUDIO: So I take it the robber is the bad guy, and we can boo at him for wanting to buy someone a sex change and being gay?
SCREENWRITER: No, hes the hero, were on his side.
STUDIO EXEC: I assume then hes some sort of genius who devises a brilliant way to escape (after all, I can always force you to stop him being gay once youre under contract and we own your creativity).
SCREENWRITER: Nah, in fact as bank robbers go, hes a bit useless. Much of the film is a character study of the man and society at the time. So he spends a lot of time waiting around, we learn about his wife and kids…
STUDIO EXEC: I thought you said he had a transsexual lover?
SCREENWRITER: He does, but hes got a wife and kids as well.
STUDIO EXEC: Ok, hes a cheating, bisexual, useless bank robber. This just gets better and better. Are you sure hes the good guy?
SCREENWRITER: Yep,
STUDIO EXEC: So at least therell have to be lots of action, shoot-outs and frantic editing?
SCREENWRITER: Well, therell be a bit of shooting, but I figured Id write the screenplay around only 12 sequences, and theyll be fairly slow paced. Sometime itll just be two people talking on the phone for quarter of an hour.
STUDIO EXEC: Theres only going to be 12 full sequences in the entire movie?
SCREENWRITER: Pretty much, although I should point out that youre not going to be able to see the script were actually going to film before the movie gets the greenlight.
STUDIO EXEC: I wont?
SCREENWRITER: No, because after I write the screenplay, were going to having weeks of rehearsals at your expense of course during which time the cast are going to do a lot of improvisation. After that well use their input to create the final screenplay. However by that point, itll be too late for you to call things off if you dont like it.
STUDIO EXEC: Well, I suppose perhaps if we get someone to write some really good music to make things seem exciting…
SCREENWRITER: Nope, no score. Were gonna have an Elton John song at the beginning, but thats about it. Oh and were not going to bother with make-up, or any of that sort of stuff either.
STUDIO EXEC: So let me get this straight. You want my studio to fund a movie about a bank robber whos trying to fund a sex-change operation for the transsexual lover hes cheating on his wife with. However hes a useless bank robber, who doesnt steal much money and then waits around in the bank because the police are outside. Theres only going to be 12 sequences in the entire movie, no score, no make-up and its largely going to be improvised?
SCREENWRITER: Oh, and I forgot to mention, its going to be anti-war and pro-prison riots.
STUDIO EXEC: Pro-prison riots?
SCREENWRITER: Yeah, at one point the robber is going to go outside and start shouting about a prison riot that happened a couple of years ago1. Thatll really get the crowd riled up and ensure theyre on his side.
STUDIO EXEC: The crowd?
SCREENWRITER: Well, because of the stand-off between the robbers and the police, a massive crowd gathers and theyre all on the side of the bank robber.
STUDIO EXEC: But why are they on his side?
SCREENWRITER: Because they hate the authorities. You see the film is essentially about how everyone outside the white, middle class, heterosexual, conservative, pro-capitalist status quo is pissed off and doesnt want to take it anymore. They see the robbery as a sort of rallying point to express their dissatisfaction with what they see as a broken system.
STUDIO EXEC: Umm, you do realise this is Hollywood, and were a giant mega-conglomerate thats one of the most visible parts of the American capitalist system. So essentially what you want is for us to bankroll a movie that sets out to denigrate and undermine everything that allows this studio to exist, and which says the sort of system we rely on to make money is corrupt and needs to be destroyed?
SCREENWRITER: Yep. I figured you might have a problem with that, so I just want to assure you its going to be a huge hit. So even if its against everything you stand for, at least youll make some money from it and what could be more capitalist than that!
STUDIO EXEC: And what do you base your assessment that itll be a hit on? Have you done focus groups that told you the world is crying out for movies about rubbish bisexual bank robbers trying to fund their lovers sex change operation? Is it from all the other anti-status quo bank robbery movies that have set the box office on fire?
SCREENWRITER: Nope, but I reckon itll be the fifth highest grossing movie of the year, and Ill win an Oscar for the screenplay. It could be an even bigger hit, but someone might make a movie about a libidinous hairdresser or a guy rebelling when hes locked up in a mental institution, and if they do, those are bound to make more money than our film. And Dod help us if they make a movie about a giant killer fish, as thatd probably be the biggest movie of all time!2
STUDIO EXEC: Yeah, right, thats going to happen. And who do you suppose is going to play your cheating, sexually confused, incompetent thief? It doesnt exactly sound like a sexy proposition for a movie star. In fact it sounds like the sort of role that might destroy their career.
SCREENWRITER: Well, I figured well just get one of the biggest stars in the world to do it. Perhaps someone whos really popular, has starred in a couple of Best Picture winning movies, but is still fairly new to cinema.3
STUDIO EXEC: Its simply not going to happen. Their agents would laugh you out of the room for even mentioning it.
SCREENWRITER: Well, what if I said theyd get an Oscar nomination. Even the guy playing the transsexual will get an Oscar nomination.
STUDIO EXEC: Im sorry to cut this short, but I have to say this is the most ridiculous pitch Ive ever heard. The film is bizarre, its never going to get made, no star will agree to be in it, and if youre expecting the public to take a man to their heart whos trying to help his lover get his penis chopped off, youre clinically insane. Even if you did by some miracle get funding, it’d probably play two festivals and in a couple of arthouse cinemas before being completely forgotten.
SCREENWRITER: Youre wrong, itll be a classic! The lead actors performance will go down as one of the greatest of all time. Itll catch the mood of the nation and become a huge hit. And in 35 years time people will still be quoting the line Attica, Attica, even though they have no idea what Attica is, or why anyone might have been shouting it during a bank robbery.
STUDIO EXEC: Cant you just come up with an idea which is exactly the same as most other movies, but tweaked slightly? To be honest, if youd walked in and said the word its exactly like Avatar meets Ice Age 3, Id have bought your pitch without even listening to what your actual idea was.
SCREENWRITER: I just wanted to do something a bit different, but I guess Id better try elsewhere.
STUDIO EXEC: This is Hollywood, we dont do a bit different! Even the title, Dog Day Afternoon, is awful, what the hell does that mean? It sounds depressing and arty.
SCREENWRITER: Well, thank you for your time.
STUDIO EXEC: If you can think of a way a bisexual bank robber can fit into a movie based on Boggle or Connect 4, give me a call, but otherwise dont let the door hit you on the ass on your way out.
NOTES:
1. The classic chant, Attica, Attica refers to the prison riots that took place at the Attica Prison in 1971, with many people taking the prisoners side because of the perceived institutional racism of the correction system. See: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attica_prison_riots
2. Dog Day Afternoon was the fifth highest grossing movie of 1975 in the US, while Hal Ashbys Shampoo and Milos Formans Once Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest were even bigger hits, and Jaws set all time box office records despite the fact that only months before many saw the film as a b-movie folly.
3. Al Pacino had starred in the first two Godfather movies and Serpico, but was still new to cinema, and took a real risk with Dog Day Afternoon, particularly in respects to playing a character who wasnt straight.
TIM ISAAC
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